Pain

Pain! Webster defines it as:

¹pain

 noun \ˈpān\

: the physical feeling caused by disease, injury, or something that hurts the body

: mental or emotional suffering : sadness caused by some emotional or mental problem

: someone or something that causes trouble or makes you feel annoyed or angry

Yes, pain is a constant in our home.  In 14 years since my husbands wreck, it has gotten worse and then much worse. I believe for him this takes the form of each of the above definitions of pain.  He has physical pain caused by injury. Then the pain causes emotional suffering and feelings of anger and resentment.

As his helpmate in life, I endure these feelings with him.  I try to encourage him when he gets sad or discouraged.  I remind him of our blessings and such.  But for those of us who are caregivers, we also feel some of this pain.  We sometimes are crying inside while we encourage them. Often we are crying with them over the unfairness of the situation and the pain that never goes away.  And we may both handle it better on different days.

As caregivers, we sometimes have "pains" as described above, but have not been injured.  Sometimes we don't have the physical pain, but definitely have the sadness, the feelings of being annoyed or feelings of anger.  I want to say to you that this is normal!!  I really need to say to myself that these are normal!  Don't beat yourself up because you get mad at the situation!  No, it is not fair! Not fair that your loved ones are hurting, or that you have to help with it.  I encourage you to talk to someone!  Anyone that you can.  Tell them that it makes you so mad sometimes!  And that you are tired.  Take an evening and go to eat with a friend!  Visit your son or daughter if you have one.  Talk to someone at church.  Go to a counselor.  You need someone that hear your frustrations and let you have tears if you needed.  We need to admit to ourselves that these feelings are normal and healthy.  You should not feel bad about having them.  Just speak it out loud - to yourself if you have to and you will feel better!  And I will be glad to listen to you scream if you need to!  Call me, email me anything you need!  But remember, I may need to scream too!  :)